Monday, 23 April 2007

Prepare for the Uprising

This has nothing to do with PR but I just had to comment on an article on the BBC website about pigeons today. You may have noticed in my profile that I like most things except pigeons. This is apparently called 'peristerophobia', th proper name for a fear of pigeons. Now, I wouldn't say I have a phobia but I have been known to let out a blood-curdling scream in the middle of Waverley Station when about a million of them decided to all fly upwards in the direction of my face at the same time.

The story has been prompted by the resurfacing of arguments surrounding the Mayor of London's ban on feeding pigeons. Apparently, there are people out there who actually LIKE pigeons and are affronted that measures should be taken to curb their growth. There are people commenting on the story, arguing that pigeons are good for the environment, because they pick up litter! Yes, they pick up FOOD, which is bio-degradable, and manage to leave behind the stuff that acually does the damage! What will these people be saying when the birds of hell take over the world, then, eh? I hope I'm there to say 'I told you so'.

Apparently, the argument that pigeons spread disease is unfounded, although they are known to be susceptible to things like tuberculosis. Ok, even if they don's spread disease, how can these people possible defend that characteristic inherent in all pigeons, their need to fly randomly in all different directions, but always just inches away from my face?

The article says there are 18 million pigeons in the UK (about half of them are usually in 2 metre radius of where I am standing) and they can breed up to 6 times a year. This is scary. I'm telling you, they are planning a revolution; we are all going to become pigeon-slaves and have to bow to their every whim. The thing is, I can't even move to another country because THEY'RE EVERYWHERE!

The good news is that the government recognises pigeons as a nuisance and legally they can be controlled using humane methods by people who have a licence. I, however, will not be participating since I am too scared of them.

A psychologist comments that one possible reason that us peristerophobes are scared of pigeons is down to human evolution. In the days of early man, birds were huge, were a real threat (Oh My GOD!) and were to be avoided at all costs and this survival instinct still persists in us today. But I'm not scared of birds, just pigeons. And sometimes seagulls because they can be quite vicious, you know.
To finish, I think you will agree that this is hilarious. Mike Tyson is a self-confessed 'pigeon lover' (see picture above of Mike Tyson getting off with a pigeon). Now that is scarier than any pigeon with a random flight-path.

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